Thursday, April 7, 2011

Taking the Time to Live & Learn

I wanna say the last time I blogged about anything beauty related was over a month or so ago... its been hectic & I've really been trying to figure out why I'm blogging, why I'm on YouTube & what I plan on doing with all of it.  You could kinda say that I'm having my "quarter life crisis".  I turned 29 back in February & have no idea what I'm doing.  I've also noticed that a large number of popular gurus are young... like their early 20s.  I've come to discover that my typical makeup (like many of you) is the "smokey eye".  I could do 40 tutorials with a multitude of colors, but I'll admit that it'll get old... FAST.  So it made me think of my style & what people see when they look at me.  I also took a lot of time to think about the scrutiny that all of the YouTubers out there go through.  People are mean.  A lot of people out there get off on putting others down & I had to really step back & ask myself if I could handle that.  Putting yourself out there is a BIG DEAL.  With the few videos I do have, I've been self conscious.  I wonder what people are really thinking when they mention they've seen my videos & I'm quick to defend myself, which I truly believe are natural responses. What it came down to was that I felt that I could deal with the outcome, whatever that may be, but  that I wanted a bit more & an actual career.  There are a handful of gurus & beauty bloggers who've really taken YouTube & made it work for them as careers... but there's also a a huge number of girls out there who long for so much more.  Its HARD to break into the Makeup Artist Scene where you're a sought after artist that people request for photo-shoots & whatnot.  But that's where I want to be.  Signing NDA's because I'm working on high profile clients.  Sigh... 

I started a class a couple of weeks ago here in the Bay Area to become a certified makeup artist.  Anyone with a brush set & some shadows can call themselves a MUA, but I look forward to having that piece of paper in my portfolio to really back it up.  And lets face it, 40% off at MAC isn't gonna hurt either!!  Ohh Pro-Card... I can already feel your danger to my wallet.  I've also been looking into Esti classes & will be meeting with the admissions person tomorrow after work.  Skincare & makeup go hand in hand, so I'm definitely looking forward to hearing more about the program.  I've also spoken to several of Esti's who LOVE what they do.  I need that passion in my life!  I've worked for the past 9 years for my family & to support & give my girls anything & everything they needed & I finally have the chance to focus on myself & find my own happiness in addition to being "mommy".  Backwards huh? 

So basically, that's why you haven't seen much from me on twitter, youtube, my blog or anywhere else.  I've been busy with cosmetic chemistry and the anatomy & architechture of the face... ohh and trust me, it makes me want to cry.  But I'm a firm believer that makeup is for enhancing your true beauty & that although makeup can do wonders & change your outer appearance, it wont change whats underneath or inside.  So through my journey, I'll try to blog about my experiences & what new products I discover from my amazing teacher & what is in my re-vamped makeup kit. 

Til next time my lovelies.

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